Dana Scully’s Hair.

October 14, 2013

…and reasons why it wasn’t enough to save the X-Files for me.

The last two (or so) years I’ve been trying off and on to work my way through the X-Files. I’d sort of figured that space aliens was the reason I didn’t really care much about anything besides Mulder and Scully’s brolationship. (It’s great!)

I blamed space aliens for everything that was wrong with that show, but as I’m starting to revisit it a little bit, I finally figured out why it really irritates me. (Let me be expressly clear: I want more than anything to love this show like it deserves to be loved, I just can’t wrap my head around it I guess.)

Anyway, I’m watching the two parter in season five that involves Emily Sim. (A three year old girl who’s biologically Scully’s.) And it hits me: so much of this show rests on coincidences going horribly awry, or the audience not being able to figure out exactly what’s going on that I can’t bring myself to pay attention.

For example: Mulder just told a member of the SDPD not to shoot this other dude (because, ALIENS) which he does anyway, and then the alien dude shapeshifts into the SDPD guy tricking Mulder into thinking things are totally peachy when it’s totally the opposite. (Again, ALIENS.)

Even typing that paragraph was confusing to me.

Basically what I’m saying is, nothing -ever- goes right for these people. (Mulder, Scully, Scully’s hair, or anyone they encounter.) And it’s infuriating! I haven’t felt this way about a TV show since Rocko’s Modern Life, which at the time I couldn’t really articulate why I didn’t like watching it.

These characters NEVER get what they want, and the coincidence factor of everyone else being able to be right in their way is all too convenient.

So, I’m sorry space aliens, even though you cause a lot of problems; it’s not your fault that I can’t stand anything about the X-Files aside from Scully’s hair.


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