Donna Fargone

September 4, 2013

One of my friends on facebook posted this article, and it piqued my interest. (A lot of times when you link another wordpress post it will ping back to the author, so if she stumbles upon this post, my apologies in advance.)

It’s called “FYI: if you’re a teenage girl“.

I figured it might be another affirming post that life isn’t really as shitty as it seems when you’re 13-18 (or 24 as the case is sometimes…hahah) but it wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, those posts have their own set of problems (like: hello, what happened to self betterment?) but they often reinforce the idea that though you may feel like you’re orbiting in the universe by yourself; you’re not alone.

The author goes on to remind girls that they need to be more aware of how they present themselves on the internet. A valid point, don’t get me wrong; but it’s a problem that needs to be addressed to both genders. Had she added in a comment such as “if I caught my boys doing that….xyz….” I may have been more apt to congratulate her on her words. Even though I’m in my mid twenties, I felt like I was being talked down to by this woman, a stranger, who wasn’t speaking directly to me, or about me. (I was once a teenage girl, don’t get me wrong; but I’d have been much more keen on having a picture of Abby Lockhart to represent my inner angst as opposed to one of me not wearing clothes.)

Regardless, I think what she’s trying to say is very valid, and important for a young generation to realize: our actions have consequences. We cannot undo what’s been done on the internet.

What I think is severely misguided is that she’s only addressing half of the population that needs this message. (Heck, even adults can use a reminder once in a while.) When are we going to stop shaming girls for expressing their sexuality? I understand not wanting to encourage this at a young age; but we need to start telling them what’s REALLY wrong about their choices because it’s not that they feel comfortable enough in their own skin to post a picture of it on the internet.

I can’t accurately express how furious I am that we live in a society that has such vicious double standards with regards to gender. I feel like (and this may be rather presumptuous) she wouldn’t have the same issue if her boys were seeing pictures of other boys wearing only a towel. Because she wouldn’t be worried about them being sexually stimulated in any way. (Which I suppose would be a different issue for a different day.)

I’m having trouble formulating my thoughts in a concise and coherent way at the moment. I think it’s because I empathize with what her goal was in making such a post, but I’m also really ashamed that society has reinforced everyone’s belief that a woman (or girl) displaying her sexuality openly is somehow an issue. Also, that boys are sex hungry, hormonal fiends. It’s a spectrum. To pigeonhole entire groups of people (who all different in some way) into small categories is just– it’s wholly and totally ignorant; but not misunderstood.

In other news, school’s starting for a lot of my comrades. I haven’t been to school in two years (haha college…) and I started singing this song yesterday night when I realized no night will ever be a school night again:

 

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