curing ennui with a bon nuit.

January 1, 2013

Yesterday evening I made a really dumbass move. I wasn’t feeling too hot, but I planned on going to the 24 hour coffee shop at midnight to work on a painting that I’d started for a friend’s charity project. Because of my focus being twenty different places, I mixed up mine, and my sister’s insulin.

For the record, I use two of the three of these kinds of insulin, and my sister uses one of them.

For the record, I use two of the three of these kinds of insulin, and my sister uses one of them.

The one on the far left lasts all day, the other two you take if you’ve recently eaten, or you have a high blood sugar. The bottles look pretty similar, and once you pop the colored caps off, they’re almost identical. Long story short, I ended up taking a near-lethal dose of insulin, and my night was hectic after that. No coffee getting, no painting. *sademote*

I ended up watching Ghost World to keep myself awake and erm, not dead. That movie made me almost furious. I say almost, because it did have its redeeming moments (as most movies do). I get frustrated when I watch movies where teenagers are far too self aware for their age. I liked Enid a lot, but I didn’t believe she could exist in real life. I enjoyed watching her struggle to decide what her next move was– but DAMN GIRL. Heaven forbid a teenager in a movie isn’t prodigal at something, or is full of perfect bon mots at every single turn. I don’t even understand.

What I dislike about this phenomenon the most is that I feel like it gives young girls a free pass to behave a certain way (that may or may not be out of their organic personas). Obviously one has to try on a bunch of hats before they find the one that fits– but not everything is as neat and tidy as it is in the movies. You can’t behave like a total aloof jerkwad to everyone and still expect them to be friends with you. I’m not saying that one’s internal confusion as they begin to set out on their own is unwarranted; but believing that you *deserve* something more because you’re a special snowflake who is a prodigal so&so at thisorthat is utterly absurd.

In any case, today I was able to rally. I got my business together and went to the 24 hour coffee shop to work on my painting. Overall, it was a successful venture. I didn’t get much done, but I started a vintage Bollywood station on Pandora (because of Ghost World, surprise!) and spoke with a guy who likes to sculpt with clay in public.

I’m hoping the new year brings lots of opportunity for me to make more art! Hopefully you’ll find what you need in 2013 as well xoxox

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