June 18, 2012

I have never been super open about my sexuality because I’ve never felt it was a big deal. I don’t wear it on my sleeve, I don’t choose to broadcast who I’m into at every waking moment, I don’t feel the need to shove the aforementioned broadcast down anyone’s throats… Let me just put things this way: if you like jazz music, our privates could potentially high-five. Whether you’re a pole or a hole (or neither) is essentially a non issue. I believe the whippersnappers call this sort of thing “pansexuality.” Urban dictionary claims that it’s all about eradicating gender binaries and blah blah 21st century nonsense; but basically, if our personalities gel, our junk can gel too. I don’t really care what kind of plumbing situation you’ve got going on downstairs.If you tell me you’re into Blossom Dearie or SNL and I’ll be turned on before you finish your sentence.

That said, I’ve always been more aesthetically attracted to ladies. Artistically and otherwise (so I’m finding out). This weekend was Pride in PDX. It got me thinking about a few things:

  1. People shouldn’t need an excuse to be physically affectionate with their partners. Excessive PDA from anyone is an instant exercise for my gag reflex; but if you want to hold hands, the Man shouldn’t have to design an event where it’s societally acceptable for you to do so. It kind of hurts my heart that I don’t see more people openly being themselves out in broad-anyfuckingtimetheywant-daylight. It’s not fair.
  2. The more time I spent walking around, the more I felt extremely out of place. I was chillin’ New York Style, (aka alone) and I just didn’t feel weird enough. Like I wasn’t expressing myself enough. (Let the record show that I was cruisin’ for a hot nerdy-Tina Fey type to be my new gf.)
  3. That got me thinking that I’m soooooooo misguided when it comes to how relationships work. I was literally tempted to go up to people and be like, “So, uh, I’ve never hit on a girl before, but you’re really pretty.”
  4. Which THEN got me to thinking, that (had I not been really sweaty and gross because it was hotter than Jack be-nimble’s fucking CANDLESTICK) I actually wouldn’t have been barking up the wrong tree! Such a relief! Typically I seem to be more of a fan of the long haired ladies, but I was like, “Damn. You’re beautiful. Damn, you’re beautiful too. DAMN. Y’ALL ARE SO BEAUTIFUL.”
  5. It basically all boiled down to human judgment, and the unfairness of hot weather and time constraint. Srsly. If I’d have had a bit longer to spend down there, I would have turned on my natural Geminian charm and worked some foxy-ass mojo.

In all seriousness though: beyond all of the overtly fabulous drag-queens, and the stereotypically butch looking women, I found a lot of supremely normal looking humans. This isn’t to say that the polarizations mentioned above aren’t supremely normal humans as well, but I personally have never been exposed to levels of sexuality that weren’t overtly stereotyped. (For example, I always feel like “no way she’s into girls because she probably has a hot boyf” kind of thing. This sucks, I’m working on it.)

I just don’t understand how some people can be treated like second class citizens when we essentially live in the best motherfucking country in the free world. I understand how people ARE treated this way; but what I don’t get is how other people can allow this sort of treatment to occur.

If I were to wrangle myself a Pygmalion, I don’t know if I’d be marching down the street with a rainbow flag screeching about how awesome pussy is; but I’d definitely be working on the sidelines to make sure everyone gets the equality they deserve.

Actually, once I typed that– I have no idea why I’m not doing it already~!


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