wrap battle

December 24, 2011

My mom told me awhile ago that I didn’t learn how to properly use a pair of scissors until I was in the 4th grade. <— FUN FACT! I took ceramics in HS for an easy A, and the teacher tried to let me down easy when I got a C instead because I couldn’t use the wheel. My brother took ceramics in HS to meet girls, and now he’s made half of the dishware in our cabinet. Life is unfair.

The Holiday season is really unkind to those who lack fine motor skills like myself. I seriously can’t wrap presents for shit. I’m always like, “Really. There’s something pretty neat in there if you can get beyond the fact that it looks like post apocalyptic Vesuvius. I got you festive macramé!” Sound the bugles: someone’s getting tea cozies!

This year I planned ahead. I wrapped a total of two (count them TWO) presents. I made sure the rest either fit in envelopes, or could be exchanged with a high-five, drug deal style.

I am v. proud.

Suck my fat dick, Christmas.


One Response to “wrap battle”

  1. puckrox said

    I cant wrap a Christmas present to save my life. That’s why I invest in bags. They’re just as festive and all you have to worry about is what color tissue paper to use.

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